“Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.” -Kyoko Escamilla
To date, the trip I’m going to tell you about today along with my study abroad experience to the Netherlands, are my most influential journeys away from home.This trip symbolizes the start of a new chapter in my life. The one where I am the center, the end all BE all, the sparkle in my own eye - in one word, selfish. And I think it’s fair to say that anyone who knows me, understands that this task is a very difficult one, but a journey I’ve been exploring. In order to paint the truest image for you of this vacation, I will explore with you its’ most critical moments.
“Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly.”-Unknown
In the spirit of wanting to treat myself, I booked this 4 day solo vacation only 15 days before I was set to leave. I had been healing after some emotional pulling and tugging away at my heart, and my last few vacations had symbolized the culmination of all of that emotional probing. I wanted to give myself a vacation that provided relief, relaxation, and the ability to have space to think clearly. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could do this; that I needed no one else to provide this experience for me. So I did some research, found a beautiful hotel and affordable flight through Expedia.com and here I was, heading to Mexico. What a weird feeling, at first.
“You have to taste a culture to understand it.” -Deborah Cater
At the time, I was three weeks vegan at an all inclusive resort that didn’t truly prioritize authenticity. This became an opportunity for me to explore my relationship with food: I indulged in vegetables and fruits, various pastas, soups, and bread options.
I befriended this mother-son pair who were on vacation together as a way to spend more time with one another. The mother and I immediately took to one another as I expressed in conversation that I was a teacher and she had once been a teacher. We spoke about so many things together; education in the U. S., the plight of the black female, Church, international politics (she was from England), etc.
The three of us took a trip away from our resort in search of some authentic Mexican dishes and to ride the urge to explore - mostly for the food. Due to a host with a great vibe, we visited this small restaurant located amongst small side streets filled with vendors and clubs and restaurants alike. After sitting for some time, the mother-son pair, host, and I landed ourselves in this beautiful introspective discussion. We spoke on meditation, the power of intuition, and different places we had experienced our most conscious selves in. The host recommended some sights we should see, gave us free tequila shots, and ended with a handshake of gratitude. “I’m so glad you came in. I could feel right away that we were connected.” - Host, while shaking my hand goodbye.
"We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone."
Prior to my departure to Cancun, I secured two photo shoots with two different photographers. I was new to modeling and couldn’t pass up the opportunity of finally having some free days to explore my craft. Modeling from the start for me has been a way for me to express myself and be the woman I dream of. Believe it or not - the outfit was the most important part. I picked a bright red bikini. I had purchased this bikini for a trip I took August of the prior year to the Dominican Republic. Long story short: This is not a trip I routinely like to remember. I strongly disliked the fact that a clothing item could impact my emotions in such a negative way. So I chose to rebrand it. I decided that this was the bikini I was going to be my DREAM woman in. I was going to rock it. On Monday morning at 8 AM, on the beach of my resort, I had one of my best Photoshoots thus far. I was so internally happy and proud of myself for exploring courage. I was proud of myself for booking this trip, for wearing this bikini, for believing in myself every day.
“One good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.” -Linda Lambert
I spent my downtime conversing with many people at the resort, mostly older couples on vacation. My days were filled with equal parts of laughter, love, and even silence. But they also included conversing with a new crush back at home. I was filled with a lot of courage these days so I was happy to explore who I was as a potential partner with this newfound thought process. I quickly found that I became excited to share my courage and felt good when he was impressed by it. Our story together continues.
“Traveling -- It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” -IBN Battuta
During this trip I explored relaxation, admiring the woman I was becoming and finding new ways to treat her kindly. I had an ocean side massage that was transcending, I felt the clear water rain in the heat, I connected with various kinds of people, and I felt truly grounded. However, I was ecstatic with the thought of going home and presenting this version of myself. I love a good solo trip. One that is designed by you, influenced by you, and memorialized by you. There are times, I speak for myself, when a moment is so pure and great that you wish you had someone to share it with. In these moments I remind myself that I am the special someone I’m sharing it with.
This photo shocked friends and family back at home because I’m known to be afraid of all animals- big and small. And here, I couldn’t feel more brave.